For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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