Jerry, you need to find god
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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