He asked me if I "almost moaned"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
