3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
