Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
