i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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