my vag is so smooth its legendary
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
