Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
