I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize