with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
