Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
