the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
