Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
