More tranny stories later!
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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