he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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