How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
