I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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