there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
