Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
