Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
