what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
