I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
