You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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