aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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