I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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