She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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