At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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