I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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