Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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