im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Houston, we have a blender
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
