I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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