why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
