just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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