Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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