is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
