do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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