I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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