he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
