I just pynch a tree in the face
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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