Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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