We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
