eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
