Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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