ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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