She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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