I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
