I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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