never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
