Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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