she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
