smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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