I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
