I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
