My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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