About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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