the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
