How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
