porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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