What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
